Contouring results!!!!

Thoughts:

1) We probably should have used something darker for the shadow parts. I feel like we could have gone bigger.

2) We mostly used wet n wild, because we are very cheap, but I think it was fine for our purposes. I don’t know. I’m not a make up person. Maybe it would have been SO much better with nice make up, but it seemed pretty okay.

3) It looked nice in the end! I don’t know if I would ever bother doing it again, but I thought it would be awful and cakey and clowny and it really wasn’t.

4) But it just wasn’t THAT dramatic. Again, maybe we should have gone bigger. I was kind of imagining I would have a whole new face in the end.

5) The midway point is hilarious

6) The whole night was super fun and funny and great.

Our other friends also looked super beautiful with their make up (and without it) but I don’t know that they want their faces all over my tumblr, so this is just me and Kay (maltyk).

ps- lol at how bloodshot my eyes were by the end! Jeez! I may have been drinking…

Tags | a-list |
Um…. We may have let a couple of the zucchini get a bit out of control.

Um…. We may have let a couple of the zucchini get a bit out of control.

Tags | gardening |
Hanging out at the B&B

Hanging out at the B&B

Tags | Max |

I don’t know why I’m thinking about this tonight but…

The newspaper here, The Oregonian, used to run this phone number called the Oregonian Inside Line and I called it SO MUCH when I was a teenager.

It was like a time and temperature line, but with a lot more services. You could listen to the 7 day forecast, your horoscope, traffic alerts. They even did daily synopses of every soap opera! I occasionally watched Days of Our Lives and Passions (remember Passions?? So campy and kind of amazing?) so I would listen to those all the time.

If you stayed on the line too long, eventually a message would come on and say something like, “In order to allow other callers to reach the Inside Line, we will now disconnect the call. Thank you for calling the Oregonian Inside Line. Goodbye,” and then it would hang up on you.

I just looked it up and apparently the Inside Line was disconnected in the 2005 since, you know, the Internet is way better at providing all those services.

RIP, Inside Line. You were a real pal.

This is the best night ever

This is the best night ever

Tags | a-list |
Only the best for our Kardashian contouring party!

Only the best for our Kardashian contouring party!

Tags | a-list |
sotheresthat:

emchughes:

wnyc:

This is brilliant. Also, we do recommend the fish slivers.
-Jody, BL Show-
(via eater)

"Moules frites that spent a semester in Thailand" I die


Truffle oil tainted mashed potatoes is what killed me.

This is so hilarious and accurate.The trendiness of truffle oil is the bane of my existence. I HATE it so much! I can’t even set foot in a Little Big Burger because the whole place reeks from their stupid truffle oil fries. So. Sick.

sotheresthat:

emchughes:

wnyc:

This is brilliant. Also, we do recommend the fish slivers.

-Jody, BL Show-

(via eater)

"Moules frites that spent a semester in Thailand" I die

Truffle oil tainted mashed potatoes is what killed me.

This is so hilarious and accurate.

The trendiness of truffle oil is the bane of my existence. I HATE it so much! I can’t even set foot in a Little Big Burger because the whole place reeks from their stupid truffle oil fries. So. Sick.

Reason my son is crying:

I cleaned up the dog vomit instead of letting him play with it.

Tags | mean mom | Max |
Truck book truck book truck book truck book truck book truuuuuuuuck booooooook!!!!!!!

Truck book truck book truck book truck book truck book truuuuuuuuck booooooook!!!!!!!

Tags | Max |
Wallace is back

So that’s good.

He’s such a shit.

Tags | wallace | dogs |
Wallace is MIA

He’s been gone for over an hour now. No clue where. I searched his usual haunts and asked the neighbor to keep an eye out for him.

In the past when he’s run off he’s always been easy to find… He usually goes 1 of 3 places. I guess he’s on a new adventure this time….. Hopefully he’s okay and he reappears soon.

Tags | wallace |
So, here’s this goof

So, here’s this goof

Tags | Max |
The good news is, my mom got Max these little engineer overalls and I’ve been dying over them all day. Too. Cute.

The good news is, my mom got Max these little engineer overalls and I’ve been dying over them all day. Too. Cute.

Tags | max |
So, the Evil Storytime Lady…

Well, I gotta say, I’m disappointed in myself. After all of the ridiculous things this woman has done (see my other posts tagged “evil Storytime lady” if you want background) the thing that put me over the edge was really not that bad. At all. It was definitely a “straw that broke the camel’s back” situation.

And I lost my temper. I didn’t yell or swear, but I kind of let her have it and I wasn’t even very articulate about it. It was definitely an overreaction to what happened today. But of course it wasn’t just about today.

Max and I arrived about 10 minutes early for Storytime and we’re sitting and waiting for it to start. There’s another woman and her daughter there and no one else. ESL is talking to that woman and I’m thumbing through photos on my phone.

So then she turns to me and says, “Can you not use your phone in here? I find it very distracting.”

To be clear, I was not speaking on my phone. I was looking at it and it was silent. And I never have it out during ACTUAL Storytime.

I said, “Storytime hasn’t started yet. I’ll put it away when we get started.”

To which she replied, “Yes, but I just find it very distracting and I’d rather you didn’t use it in here.”

And I said, “that’s ridiculous. We haven’t even started yet.”

And she responded, “If you want to use your phone you can go out in the hall.”

And so I said, “You know what, [ESL], you are so incredibly rude all the time! You’ve screamed at me, you’ve yelled at other people! I know a bunch of people who don’t come to this Storytime any more because you’re always so rude to everyone!”

So she was like, “I’ve never been rude to you!”

And I said, “You don’t remember the time you screamed at me?”

And she was like, “no!”

(At this point the other lady was acting super interested in her own hands)

So I was like, “okay, well there were a lot of other people there when it happened. I can’t believe you even have this job. I’m done.”

And I left. And I went to try to speak to the library director but he’s hiking the Pacific Crest Trail with his brother for the next two weeks. Oy.

I feel like an asshole. Asking me not to use my phone wasn’t the worst request ever and I really shouldn’t have blown up at her in front of someone else. And I’m pissed at myself because I totally forfeited any high ground I might have had.

But I really do think her request was ridiculous and it was just another bizarre control thing for her and I truly think she is doing a lot of harm to the library in the position she’s in- she’s the community outreach person! And in addition to being vile all the time, she also just sucks at running Storytime, which should not be that hard. She’s disorganized and she chooses activities and books that are way too advanced for the age group… she is just really not the right person for the job.

So. Blurgh. I feel like I should apologize to her but I also just can’t imagine that conversation going any way other than horribly. I’m going to talk to the director when he gets back… I may even email him now.

Idk idk

Storytime, man. High drama.

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